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rumble rumble [12 Apr 2005|11:34am]
[ mood | lonely ]

I know I'm a light sleeper, but I can't believe that no one else woke up at 4am during the earthquake! It was small- a 3.9 or something. I knew instantly what it was. There's nothing like the sound of an earthquake. Now I don't want to drive anywhere in case there's another! I've never been in the car during an earthquake. Scary!

Comments: 2 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

not dead, just 550 miles south of what I know [17 Feb 2005|11:19am]
[ mood | okay ]

Wow... ahem.... (clears throat)... Is this thing on?

I can't update everything that has been going on without drastically summarizing, and that makes everything lame. Don't believe me? Ok, here goes: I live in San Diego now. My new job is ok. I love my apartment. I miss some things about the bay area, but I'm glad to be here. I miss Trixie and Elle the most. I rarely talk to them. I miss my family but I didn't see them that much anyway. I haven't had to be stressed out about money until last week, and now it's back to the same old crap with that. The bills keep coming. I have been having a hard time typing lately. It's pretty here, and I wish the weather would get a little warmer. I hope to be able to afford a bike before summer so I can ride to the beach. My birthday is 2 weeks from tomorrow. My Valentine's Day was lovely, much better than last year. Did I miss anything? See? Boring.

I guess I'm afraid to get into detail because of what I might discover about myself. Maybe I'm more lonely than I let on. Maybe I don't want to face my aimlessness.

Anyway. Hope you all are well.

Comments: 2 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

[02 Dec 2004|08:42am]
[ mood | restless ]

I'm NEVER up this early! I've been up for an hour. I can't sleep. I am excited about going to SD today I guess. Also, I woke up a while ago with an awful headache and took Excedrin on an empty stomach. There's caffeine in those. Now I'm exhausted and wired and I have a belly ache.

I feel I am on the precipice of a huge change. Which, about to move 500 miles away, I guess I am. I suppose I am feeling all the normal emotions one would experience before such a move- nervousness, excitement, fear, stress. I know I'm gonna be glad to finally be down there but I HATE looking for a place, and applying, and packing, and rental trucks, etc etc. Not to mention the MONEY involved, and the actual physical moving aspect.

I have a journal on another site some of you know about but this girl from another part of my life has infiltrated the site and it's really bothering me right now...

Hope you all are well.

Comments: 6 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

[19 Oct 2004|12:59am]
Wow, Livejournal has gotten so fancy! I remember when Ellen first told me to join.... I said no way. Then, before I knew it, I was posting just about every day! And I made all my friends and family join. My mom even had an account, not that she ever used it. Now none of those people post. Elle doesn't even post much any more. And CERTAIN PEOPLE (you know who you are SARAH!!) never posted, they just read everyone else's.
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.
I'm saying that to people who may read this and people who, I am sure, will not.
Did I mention I am moving out of the area in Jan? Scary.
I remember a night we had a lot of people over and somehow ended up playing Twister. I was the one in charge of spinning the spinner and calling out the body part and color. After a while I stopped spinning and called out whichever combo would make for the most hilarity, but no one noticed I was doing that and I felt smug about it.
I have always amused myself.
Comments: 2 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

airports and tears [12 Oct 2004|01:39am]
[ mood | sad ]

I was up at 4am going to the airport when I didn't want to be. I kept telling him that I wasn't going to take him and that I forgot where the airport was but he didn't believe me. He knew I would get him there because I knew he had to go.
I am wearing his shirt and my pillow still smells like his mohawk and I have bruises from his bites on my body.
I know he's bleary-eyed 535 miles away because I kept him awake last night. I just didn't want to waste any time... I didn't want to sleep when I could hear his voice, I didn't want to dream when I could feel him for real.
This gets harder every time and I don't know what I am supposed to do about it.

Comments: 2 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

[26 Sep 2004|04:47pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

I just got off the phone with my lovely Ellen. I miss her. I realized that I have not seen her since I started dating D, and that was over 5 months ago. Strange, especially since I used to see her at least every 2 weeks. I haven't been to her new house. She hasn't been to my new house. I have been so involved with a few specific things this last half year and everything else has fallen by the wayside. I'm gonna visit her soon, I swear.

Comments: 1 Hurricane - Rock Me.

remember when [22 Sep 2004|02:23pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Going back and looking at entries from 2001-2002 breaks my fucking heart.
I had so much.

Comments: 2 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

awwww incest! [21 Sep 2004|11:38pm]
Am I the only one who watches Nip/Tuck? It's practically a religion in my house!
Comments: 7 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

[01 Sep 2004|12:12am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

I have been lost a bit lately, perhaps because I have been living out of suitcases and my roommate's boyfriend had spent more nights in my house than I have. Perhaps because I realize I have been spinning my wheels. Perhaps because I know what's behind me yet I have no idea what's ahead.

I think I'm frightened of change.

I think I am going to move to San Diego in 9 months. It's when my lease is up. Maybe we could get out of the lease early? Will I be ready by then?

I'm ready.

Comments: 3 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

[29 Jul 2004|01:42pm]
I'm still here....
Comments: 1 Hurricane - Rock Me.

[02 Jul 2004|09:03am]
[ mood | excited ]

I GET TO SEE HIM IN AN HOUR AND A HALF!!!!!!

Comments: 1 Hurricane - Rock Me.

change [28 Jun 2004|11:12pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Seems like a lot of people are moving right now.
Moving fucking sucks!
I was laying on the floor of my empty apartment today realizing that I moved in there when I was 21. I'm 25 now. That's a lot of time, and so much has changed. I like where I live now even though I'm in the 'burbs and nothing is unpacked and it's going to take me a while to get used to everything. This change is going to do me good.

Comments: 3 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

frazzled [17 Jun 2004|10:33am]
[ mood | stressed ]

I don't think I quite understood how much work it was going to be to move until last night, when I realized that my light switch covers were leopard print. I had to find the original ones and change them, which only took about 10 minutes, but it's all those little 10 minute things that are going to add up and drive me crazy.

I have to work today and then pack tonight. And then pack all day friday. Then saturday morning, early as fuck, I have to go to the UHaul place, and I only have a few hours before the truck has to be returned.

I don't have many boxes.
I don't know how to drive a UHaul truck.
I'm not strong enough to lift the heavy furniture.

My whole adult-ish life I have always had Doug or Sam to help me out with shit like this. And yeah, this is a growing experience to have to be able to do it all myself, but it sucks.

Moving sucks.
Pout.

Comments: 2 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

yay [09 Jun 2004|03:02pm]
[ mood | excited ]

In other news, in 42 hours I will be in the arms of my Love! I'm so excited I could squeak!

Comments: Rock Me.

yuck [09 Jun 2004|03:01pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I think I am having olfactory hallucinations because suddenly I smell terrible cologne. But I'm alone in my house.

Or am I?
Do ghosts smell?

Comments: 1 Hurricane - Rock Me.

what is that noise??! [09 Jun 2004|12:22am]
[ mood | scared ]

Something is outside my window right now and it is giving me the fucking creeps, especially since the cat is freaking out.

Comments: 2 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

what? [05 Jun 2004|02:55am]
[ mood | confused ]

God, I feel so fucking weird right now. I'm exhausted but I'm not tired. I want to take a bath but I don't want to be in water. I'm hungry but the thought of eating makes me sick. I'm flustered and sad and relieved and stressed... And I have to get up and do it all over again tomorrow. Yargh.

Comments: Rock Me.

[02 Jun 2004|12:37pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

I NEED BOXES FOR MOVING

anyone have any or know where I can get some for cheap?

Comments: 1 Hurricane - Rock Me.

dorky-ass candy [01 Jun 2004|12:58pm]
[ mood | sad ]

I didn't want to get up today because then it would be real.

I am wearing the boxer shorts he left here this morning when he was bleary and packing to leave. I saw them as he was looking for all his stuff but I didn't say anything because I knew I'd want to put them on before I crawled into bed after coming home from the airport.

I can see the evidence of the fun we had this weekend strewn all about my house but I don't want to clean it up yet.

I'm so fucking confused right now.
We said "I love you" this weekend and it made my breath catch and my heart beat faster. Being in love with him is so amazing and so fun and so right. Except... I had to drop him off at the airport this morning. So he could go home. This isn't fair.

Any advice about long-distance relationships? I don't want to feel like my heart is breaking every day.

Comments: 6 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

3 hours until [27 May 2004|03:48pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

Running around doing last minute things before I get in the shower and get all pretty and hop in my car to go to the airport to pick up my san diego boy. Washing the pillowcases we'll sleep upon and filling the fridge with the food we will eat and placing the soap in the shower that we will use to wash the scent of each other off of ourselves before doing it all over again.

Why am I dating a boy I rarely see?
Makes it somehow sweeter.

But when things start to get more serious, the distance will matter. I just anticipate a phone call, I'll say "I NEED you right now" and mean it, heart-hurt, and he won't be able to be there.

But. That's not the case today, so why worry about it? He is on a plane right now and I am going to have a fantastic weekend.

Comments: 2 Hurricanes - Rock Me.

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